bitchprince | Camelot Citadel, Saturday Night into Sunday

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Camelot Citadel, Saturday Night into Sunday

Camelot stood peaceful as it sometimes did: no sorcerers had been burned in about a forthnight, there were no bandits getting particularly close to the city proper, and there were no real problems with the food or water.

Inside one room, the Lady Catrina and her servant busied themselves with something particularly noxious-smelling. And a trinket. But that was hardly of any import just yet. After all, that was their business.

In the morning, the knights would head out for training. In the afternoon, Uther would recieve citizens in need of mediation or favours in his audience chamber. The markets would bustle, and the farmers would work.

Yes. It was just another day in Camelot.

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But on Saturday night, in Arthur's chambers, a prince slept the sleep of the well-shagged-out, spread out across the bed with an arm slung liberally around a dark-haired secret sorcerer. Which was in absolutely no fashion anything new, mind, nor was the light snoring.

Ah, Merlin's sneaky plan was halfway completed.

...okay, so the sex hadn't actually been in the plan, but it worked so he could investigate this before telling Arthur what was going on. No need to make the poor man more upset about his father.

So, that would be when he very carefully slunk out of the bed and grabbed the one small, slightly random for the era mirror with which to spy on the Lacy Catrina one floor below them.

Arthur grunted something in his sleep, and perilously... turned over, spreading one heavily muscled arm out over the spot Merlin used to be occupying.

Below, the Lady Catrina was looking distinctly less... lady-like. She had a few more sticky-out bits, a purple complexion, reddish eyes and an unpleasant odour. Er.

She was also near the window, rubbing poo all over herself. Lovely.

"Oh god!" And down went the mirror. That poor, poor mirror.

The mirror shattered into a dozen pieces. Probably a fitting end, considering the image it had just had to bear. Ew.

Arthur was never that heavy a sleeper, so he veered up and out of bed, ready and alert, and one hand already on his sword. "What in the name of-- Merlin?!"

"Um." Merlin offered a nervous little smile. "Hello, Arthur!"

"What are you do--"

Sword still in hand, and steadily getting upright, Arthur... ceased moving at the sight of the open window.

"And I suppose this is where you tell me the excellent reason you've got for this."

"And there is one," Merlin assured him. And then thought about the reason and how it sounded. "...I was spying on Lady Catrina."

"I didn't think so," Arthur growled. He was a bit crabby, having been interrupted in his sleep only to find Merlin--

He brushed past the boy and peered out the window, saw the shards down below, and immediately jumped to conclusions.

"So you were," he said, pulling his head back out and steadfastly ignoring any unpleasant feelings roiling around in his insides. "You are aware that we don't actually live in pornography, Merlin."

Merlin made one spectacularly grossed out face, shaking his head. "Trust me, no one wanted to see that."

"Right," said Arthur, throwing him a funny look. Was he putting on a show, now? "I'm sure. Don't do it again, or I'll..."

He tried to think of an inspiring threat, but his heart wasn't really in it.

"...sic Brynmor on you."

"...she'd just beg for treats."

STOP BEING HELPFUL, MERLIN.

"Then I'd throw you in the stocks!" Arthur said, irritably.

What was going to happen next? Was Katchoo going to barge into the room and proclaim she was vying for the Lady Catrina's hand alongside Merlin and his father? That would be the perfect next stage in this ridiculous farce, wouldn't it?

"I realise she's a very-- attractive-- woman, but for the sake of the privacy of our guest, I'd suggest you sleep at Gaius's tonight," he added. Prickly, yes.

... and asking Merlin to sleep on the couch, apparently.

"...um." This was awkward. "Arthur, I don't want to alarm you, but I think she's horrid."

"Funny, you seemed to think differently not a candlemark ago," Arthur retorted, glaring at the window.

"I was confirming something!"

Edited 2010-09-05 16:14 (UTC)

"Oh, I'm sure you were."

"Are you... jealous?" Seriously, Arthur?

"Hardly," Arthur said (because of course he'd say that), and eyed Merlin himself. "But Lady Catrina is our guest, Merlin. Do try and contain yourself."

So yes, in other words.

This would be hilarious another time.

"All... right."

"Elsewhere," he continued, "Where you won't be so tempted to try and catch her with her kit off."

Another time, Arthur would also be less likely to do something as base as refer to a woman's clothes.

"Right." Arthur had gone insane. "I'll just go find Gaius now then."

Arthur had just found Merlin spying on a woman he'd been making cow-eyes at all week. In the middle of the night. After sleeping with him.

So why was Merlin looking at him like he'd gone mad?

"Right," he said, squinting at him. "...What are you staring at?"

What the hell was going on?

"Nothing." Other than your crazy, Arthur. All that crazy.

"You are acting very strangely," Arthur said, finally getting that bit, at least.

Camelot Citadel, Saturday Night into Sunday

Arthur's Chambers

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Re: Arthur's Chambers

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Re: Arthur's Chambers

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Re: Arthur's Chambers