"I mean keeping you from being an idiot," he retorted, "Which is only my princely duty in that if I let you get away with it all the time you'd probably get us all killed."

Yes. Really. Merlin. Get them all killed. With a bath and nudity. "...and if you think this is bathing you, you have incredibly low standards for such a thing."

Don't turn this into a challenge, or he really would be soaping you up within the next few minutes.